


jumbled up

by leymedown



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Both are very Vague, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Introspection, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 16:44:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11810055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leymedown/pseuds/leymedown
Summary: We're partners, you're special.Locus still hears those words in his dreams. Sometimes he's met with a backstab. Sometimes he's met with a kiss, and that's worse.





	jumbled up

It all melds together, memories jumbled up and mixed around, twisted in his head and his heart alike. Good, bad, good, bad. Locus couldn't tell. When it was happening, it was all so confusing, and it was even more so as he tried to remember.

 

_ Partner _ . The word stung, worse than a wound left untreated, pressed against his armor, each movement causing the pricks of pain to act up.  _ We’re partners. _ What does that mean, what did it  _ mean _ ?

 

A hand touching his arm, patting his shoulder, gripping his hips. That voice - so smooth, smoother than the devil's - whispering in his ear,  _ we’re partners, we’re partners, we’re partners _ .

 

What did it mean? Did it ever mean anything at all? Or was Locus just another sucker falling for smooth words spoken by a smooth talker? Just another goddamn sap who thought they were special because _he_ said it was so, because _he_ was paying Locus attention, because _he_ lied, lied, _lied_.

 

Locus can't keep what was a lie and what was the truth straight. Maybe they were all lies. That's what  _ he  _ did, after all. Lie.  _ He  _ made a career out of it, made a game out of it.

 

_ We’re partners, you're  _ **_special_ **

 

_ His _ voice haunts Locus’ dreams. The empty promises, the false praise, the meaningless declarations. Partners. 

 

Partners didn't lie to each other, didn't use each other, didn't take advantage of each other.

 

Partners didn't see the other was suffering and mold that suffering into something that could they could use to control the other.

 

Sometimes the words are met with a stab in the back. Locus expects that. It's what  _ he  _ excelled at, what  _ he  _ did to Locus. Those occurrences only served as a reminder of the dreadful irony surrounding  _ his _ end, surrounding what Locus had done.

 

And yet there are times where the words are met with a kiss. Where the words aren't empty, but the only truthful statements to leave  _ his  _ lips. Those times hurt, a stabbing pain in Locus’ chest that was probably worse than a literal backstabbing would've been. It's what Locus had hoped for, every time. It's what Locus had fooled himself into believing.

  
It was a reminder that even now, Locus loved  _ him  _ so much, missed  _ him _ so much.

**Author's Note:**

> tfw ur fave shows up in the new season and ur dragged back in kicking and screaming


End file.
